Helping Your Child Co-Regulate Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide for Expat Families

If you're a parent raising kids in a new country, you’ve probably seen how the adventure of expat life comes with its own set of emotional twists and turns. While the opportunity to explore new cultures is rich and exciting, it can also be unsettling—especially for children. From unfamiliar schools to changing friendships and language barriers, expat kids often carry emotional loads that show up as anxiety in all kinds of ways.

As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is to help your child co-regulate their anxiety. But what exactly does that mean—and how do you do it when you’re juggling your own adjustment, work, and emotional bandwidth? Let’s unpack it together.

What Is Co-Regulation?

Co-regulation is the process of helping your child manage their emotions with you. Before kids develop the ability to self-regulate—calming themselves down when they're overwhelmed—they rely on a calm, consistent adult to guide them through their emotional storms.

Think of yourself as their emotional anchor. When their world feels wobbly, your steady presence can help them feel safe enough to ride the waves.

Anxiety in Expat Kids: What It Can Look Like

Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic or tears. For expat children, it can be subtle—or surprising. Some common signs include:

Withdrawal or refusal to go to school
Headaches or tummy aches with no clear medical reason
Irritability or frequent meltdowns
Trouble sleeping or eating
Clinging behavior or excessive worrying
Difficulty falling asleep at night

These behaviors are often your child’s way of saying, “Something doesn’t feel safe or predictable.”

How Parents Can Help Co-Regulate

You don’t need to be a therapist to support your child’s emotional wellbeing. Small, everyday actions can go a long way. Here’s how you can co-regulate with your child:

1. Stay Calm, Even When They’re Not

Easier said than done, right? But your calm is contagious. If your child is anxious and you're able to stay grounded (even when they’re spiraling), you send a powerful message: You're safe, and we can handle this together.

Try: A deep breath before you respond. A soft tone. Getting on their eye level.

2. Name What You See (Without Judgment)

Anxious kids often feel confused or ashamed about what they’re experiencing. By gently naming what you notice, you help normalize their feelings and make them feel seen.

Try: “I see your hands are shaking. I wonder if something is making you feel nervous?” or “It seems like you're feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.”

3. Offer Physical and Emotional Comfort

Sometimes kids need a hug. Other times, they need space and quiet. Tune into what soothes your child. You are their safe harbour—just being near you can lower their stress response.

Try: Sitting close, offering a hand to hold, or even creating a little “calm corner” in the house with their favorite blanket or book.

4. Model Your Own Regulation

Kids are always watching us. When you’re feeling stressed and you take a breath, or say out loud, “This is hard, but I’m going to take a moment to calm down,” you show them what healthy emotional management looks like.

This is especially helpful when you’re navigating expat stress too.

5. Create Predictability Where You Can

Anxiety often thrives in the unknown. Simple routines—like bedtime rituals or weekly family meals—can bring a sense of stability to a child’s world, especially when everything else feels new or unpredictable.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child’s experience of anxiety is starting to interfere with their day-to-day life—or yours—it might be time to talk to a professional. Head over to my website to see how I can help your child build tools for managing anxiety and also support you in your parenting journey.

Warm wishes,